http://www.tckid.com/group/what-strengths-might-tcks-possess-and-how-can-we-develop-them

A year ago today, he walked into eternity.

]]> http://third-culture-kid.com/2010/01/23/images-of-a-father/feed/ 0 http://third-culture-kid.com/2010/01/18/monster-man/ http://third-culture-kid.com/2010/01/18/monster-man/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 04:37:53 +0000 THIRD CULTURE KID http://third-culture-kid.com/?p=408 Here’s one for the kids – nothing to do with being a TCK, but just ‘cos it’s fun and I feel like posting it!

Monster-Man
Last night, when I went to bed,
I really did try
to tell my Dad the awful truth –
I hoped he wouldn’t cry.
‘Dad,’ I said, ‘A monster lives
underneath my bed!’
‘Oh!’ he said, and flicked the switch,
‘It’s all inside your head!’

I waited for what seemed like hours;
finally, he came –
that hairy, scary, horrible beast –
I still don’t know his name.
His hungry mouth and yellow teeth
glinted in the dark.
‘Hey, Monster-man!’ I said to him,
‘Let’s snack before we start!’

He gibble-gobbled down a treat
and turned the music on.
We jumped and rapped and boogie-woogied
almost until dawn.
Now, how do I explain to Dad
that TWO pairs of his shoes
are squeezed inside a monster’s tum –
can you give me some clues?

© 2008 S D Haydon. Acknowledgment is made of the assistance received as an Adelaide Centre for the Arts TAFE SA student in developing this poem.

First of all, I’d like to wish every one of this blog’s readers a safe and fantastic 2010. Thank you for reading and commenting over the last two years!

As a family, 2009 turned out to be a roller-coaster. We had an inkling of this when, early in the year, my father passed away and my partner’s job became a casualty of the GFC.

Since then we’ve been in a state of flux. My partner and I swapped roles at home, something that put considerable pressure on our family. A source of further pressure was the processing of my TCK childhood – which appeared to take on a life of its own. And the year continued to be eventful in other ways.

All these have made it quite apparent to us that we have, in the past, stinted in some of the things we have been paying into our relationship. The results have shown whenever the rubber hit the road this year.

2009 does finish on many positive notes. We have some clear direction for the future. We have also been able to take time out for respite before diving into the new year. And we have 2010 to look forward to.

2010 is a year of new beginnings. Our oldest child starts school – a significant step for all of us! Then, as alluded to in a previous post, the first step in a radical career change for my partner begins. And we want 2010 to be a year when we do pay generously into that significant relationship – our marriage – so there are few cracks to mar the ride.

It functions a bit like Facebook, and is really a Ning Network. The team have created some excellent groups which, IMHO, is a great way in which the growing Third Culture Kid community can network.

I’ve just joined the group ‘TCKid Writers’, and I’m excited about connecting with other TCKs who are also writers.

So if you are a Third Culture Kid, a Cross-Cultural Kid, or the parent of one, why not head over there and sign up?

Thanks Brice and the TCKID team!

If you’ve been around contemporary Christian worship music for a while, especially in Australia, you are probably familiar with his songs like ‘The Power of Your Love’, ‘You Rescued Me’, and ‘Just Let Me Say’.

Geoff is a musician who has been there, done that, had it all crash down around him… and gone on amazingly since.

Though he probably would not think that he has gone on amazingly. We found a humble man. A high achiever, coming from a family of high achievers. A great musician – I would be well pleased if I could tinkle the ivories with a tenth of his ability. And he is a brilliant song writer with a beautiful voice.

We didn’t have to pay a cent. It was in a small church in lil’ old Adelaide, and he wasn’t there just to perform, just to lead us in worship, or act as a channeling mechanism for an ultimately un-channel-able God. He was there with a genuine desire to tell his story – the story of his brokenness – just so that his story could help others.

He was honest. To me that makes this musician worth listening to.

Not power-house Christianity. Not who wields the voting power in the local congregation. Not which clique you need to belong to, to feel like you are ‘in’ the church. Not how well you have to hide your true self, or how your children need to behave, so everyone will ‘know’ that you are a mature, coping Christian.

Simply this: GRACE.

Check out more of his story of real, amazing grace at http://www.geoffbullock.com and http://geoffbullock.blogspot.com. You can also find links to some rewrites he has made to old favourites like ‘Just Let Me Say’, and ‘Refresh My Heart’.

To read more, click on the article link above.

Steph says curiosity about this issue led to her write this article. She found that there are all sorts of struggles involved in raising a second-generation TCK — but from the parents she talked to, it seemed that the benefits outweighed the consequences.

Thanks Steph!!

This was my inner monologue for years after giving birth to our first child. But that nudge to think global continues, and we’re suddenly considering expatriate work.

It’s scary. I know the possibilities, both positive and otherwise. It’s easier to behave like the proverbial head-hiding bird, pretending that it’s best to live in the West, earn lots of money and be global by donating some of said money to charitable causes. It’s right for some, but not all.

‘You know, you can’t protect your kids in Australia,’ said a friend.

She’s right. Among other things, we have here alarming rates of child abuse (the suspected rate being much higher than the reported one), the prevalence of drugs even in primary schools, the growing rates of teen promiscuity, suicide, depression… This western world is scary too.

Of course, being a TCK doesn’t save you from abuse, drugs, teen promiscuity, or depression. Being a TCK can carry extra complications, including loss and grief from frequent cultural transitions.

But in one sense my husband and I are on familiar ground. We probably have a better understanding of how to parent in an environment of high-mobility and cross-culture, than in the mono-culture we now live in. We know the rules (albeit changeable ones) in the world of TCKs.

What of the loss, grief and pain? We can’t shield our kids from that. It’s part of the package and baggage of TCKs. And recently, I have been processing loss and grief from my own childhood.

Some weeks ago I met a parent of TCKs. When he heard of our background he smiled, saying, ’The TCK experience makes one flexible and resilient.’

Funnily enough, thinking about my kids becoming TCKs has made me realise the richness of TCKs’ lives. My husband and I chattered in other languages as children. I was six when I first touched and breathed in fine sand blown from the Sahara. We went on safaris before we were ten, and both grew up with incomparable African harmonies and dancing. My husband has met ‘Mosi-oa-Tunya’, the smoke that thunders – Victoria Falls herself. We know intimately those exquisite moments in a plane at take-off and landing. Waiting for long hours in wildly-different airports can be an adventure. We have lived in climates that are hot, climates that are humid, climates that are dry, wet, cold. Some places we lived in or visited were affluent, others not so, some were cities, some towns, and others rural villages. We have seen some incredible sights, and made incredible friends. I can’t fit a complete list in this post!

We look forward to introducing our children to the riches of our own heritage.

Does anyone have advice to give TCKs who turn expats, creating little TCKs of their own? Please let me know, either by leaving a comment on this post or, if you prefer not to leave a public comment, you can email me using the private form on the Contact page.

Thanks all for reading!

It should be stressed that this is not what happened to all children at all boarding schools. Perhaps not even to the majority. My understanding is that it is difficult to collect statistics on this. But it did happen to many.

Bottom line: it cannot be ’swept under the carpet’.

No, I haven’t got a book contract with Penguin or Knopf Doubleday – or anyone else for that matter. I am very excited because my blog article ‘I don’t knit!‘ (re-titled ‘Crochet by any other name‘), has been published in Passionate Hookers, a magazine-book put out by Brascoe Publishing.

‘Big deal!’ one might say. ‘If a 350-word reminiscence is what you call published, I was published by my high-school newsletter twenty years ago.’

Highly likely, but bear with me. I have never before been published anywhere, and neither of my high-schools ran to newsletters. There is something extremely seductive (I am getting into the swing of things here) in seeing one’s fallible words in beautifully typeset print. Even more alluringly, this publication has an ISBN! But, most of all, it is immensely satisfying to see an article about a TCK experience make it into a non-TCK publication.

This ‘mook’ is a pleasure to read, with contributions by some creative people with remarkable achievements. Well done Brascoe Books!

Now I just have to land that Harlequin contract for my romance novel.

I’ll leave it to you to work out what Passionate Hookers is all about. It is quite affordable (AUD 16.50), and can be ordered online at Brascoe Publishing. You can also get a sneak preview at Brascoe Publishing’s web-site http://www.brascoebooks.com.au/. You will need a flash player – most browsers should be equipped with one by default.