An honest word

For over a year now I’ve been struggling to keep posting on this blog.

I convinced myself this was because I’d moved on from the need to post here. That I’d integrated myself to a point where navel-gazing at my TCKness was not required.

The truth is I’ve been struggling because I feel I can’t write positively about my TCK experiences. I have several unfinished drafts that I feel I cannot publish because they don’t have happy endings.

I’ve been grieving for my losses. Grief is messy. It takes time. And grief is definitely not the sort of stuff that I’ve been brought up to write about publicly. Perhaps grief over someone who died. Or a lost job. But not something as vague and… inward-looking as being a TCK. Also, one must endeavour to write up-beat, up-lifting ’stuff’ that, if one is a Christian, chirpily points others to God.

But it’s time to be honest. So… I’ve decided that I will publish depressing blog posts when I feel like doing so. Because perhaps, when the grieving is done – and I’m back chirpily writing that up-beat, up-lifting ’stuff’ – people can read my journey, from start to finish, and find hope. Because, inescapably, I believe that even down-at-mouth posts contain heavenly whispers.

Because I’m real, and God’s real, and He doesn’t run from honesty.